Now I'm just mad. This damn bailout could've been prevented, but people got too greedy on Wall Street. And the stupid REPUBLICANS in office pushed for deregulation. Well 8 years of bad economic policies and deregulation has led to the American people paying off Wall Street's debt while the federal government won't even help students out with paying for their future.

That's bullshit. When a country values it's rich more than it's future...that's a country destined to fall. And believe me, we're crashing and burning.

I realize the things you take for granted when you think there's always something better. Sitting in my house, writing seemingly empathetic medical school essays, reading the book "Harvesting the Heart" by Jodi Picoult, I reflected. Throughout college, I had always felt that I should've done more, could've done more and left feeling dissatisfied. I should've partied more, made more "important connections", and done more to lift myself forward.

This weekend, perhaps it was an epiphany or just someone actually getting through my selfishness, I realized I have it really good. I have the good friends I'd always thought I'd never find. In the past, I thought that I'd find better, closer, or something else. Again, it's the slight feeling of being dissatisfied with what I had been given. But sitting in my house, without the comfort of Madison, good friends and familiarity I realized I've done quite well. I don't know where I go forward from this point, I don't like saying that I'll be different. But I would like to think that I have closed one door, and at some point, some other door will open. And I'll continue struggling with the unknown.

The more I read by conservative bloggers, the more idiotic I think they are. I just am mad. I'm mad at the failure of these policies. I'm mad that the education system fails so many young people in this country. I'm mad that people are paying attention to John McCain's nonsense and selling out. I'm mad that people are even GIVING credit to Sarah Palin, a corrupt Alaskan politician. I'm mad at people's selfishness. This world is melting, physically, mentally and metaphysically. And all we care about is money?

Honestly. I just want out of it all.

Vote Obama.

I haven't blogged in forever, but Sonia has done an excellent job saying I have some good opinions. I'm involved on a Senate campaign, but I think the role of the "traditional" versus "new" media will have a great impact on the election, but will it be enough?

In 2000 and 2004, the NY Times and other major newspapers published editorial after news article after business article detailing and highlighting the failures of the now President George W. Bush as a businessman, as a Texas governor and his failures in college. Yet the American people barely didn't elected him , and the Republican party machine in Florida held the electoral college hostage for him. And eight years later we're left with a 2.3 trillion dollar deficit when he entered with a 200 billion dollar surplus.

The press again in this election has played an important role exposing the lies and ills of Sarah Palin and John McCain. My question is will it be enough? Is it enough that this is the number one emailed story on the NYtimes.com? Or the fact that most of the major banking and investment systems in the U.S. are about to go under? Does that matter anymore?

In light of the abortion, family values debate...have we lost our American-ness? Our ability to adapt as a people to change? Or are we so damn selfish that we cannot change...we refuse to give up our cars and our half hour commutes to public transportation. Perhaps the press hasn't done enough, or perhaps we as a people aren't willing to be woken up from the dream to see the nightmare this world has become.

My lack of blogging is due to school, taking the MCAT this summer and general crazyness. Now I'm off to re-draft a 15 page paper. Right now it look to be about 24 pages.

And I need to do well this semester...here's to hoping for a Dean's List entry...

So I haven't blogged in forever, and for that I apologize. The past semester has been..hell to say the least. I took three science classes, which I will probably never do again. I've decided to apply to go to medical school, which means I should be studying for the MCAT right now instead of sitting online at 2AM.

I've been musing over the past few days, as I usually do,about what to write in my personal statement. I am thinking about writing about my mom, but I don't know exactly what to write to convey how her memory helped me decide to persue medical school, doctoring and signing my life away to loans, debts and insomnia. Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter?

Also, big shoutout to all the BC&S people. I really miss you all.

It's late, or early, however you view it. All I know is that I can't sleep. I've finally started to design layouts again, and I realized how much trash I designed in the past. I've updated my fanlisting, my only website left on the internet besides this one. I feel that this one will probably receive another layout sometime soon as well. It will probably be another M.I.A layout, or perhaps someone or something else. I realize that my grammer isn't the greatest at 4:07AM, but I am trying. I start school on Monday, and I really can't be staying up until 4AM but I need to make myself get back on a sleep pattern that's normal.

A lot of my friends are going to various cities in Europe.

I really want to go and travel this summer. Do you have any idea how amazing that would be?

I really haven't posted here in a long time, since I really didn't have the time during the semester. Carrying a full course load, plus working under a lot of stress has caused me to lose most of my important friendships. So I'll have to find a way to rebuild them anew, and keep my sanity together.

This past semester has really taught me a lot about myself, my limits and what I want to possibly do with my life. I took a great class on Billie Holiday and James Baldwin, that really opened my eyes up to things that I think I already knew. I already knew that a lot of white people are scared of black people, but the fact that the current drug problem, gang violence and keeping everyone marginalized only serves to increase the wealth of the whites while making sure the blacks kill each other. Only when blacks kill whites do people actually pay attention.

Another reason is that my position as FC. FC is an important position, and I really don't think I'm doing a capable job. I really think that I've lost a lot of friendships this way and I really miss my friends. Maybe I should say that?

OK or else I'm a drama queen that wants too much.

Is world peace too much to ask for?

I'm tired of the Israeli conflict. I think both sides need to calm down and stop the hate.